I went through this pain in the ass yesterday, and let me tell you, it is a major, major, MAJOR PITA, especially if your car has one of the larger, longer batteries in it.

If you go to try and start your car and all you hear is a ZZZZZZ sound and the interior lights go crazy and your clock resets... your battery is dead. Doesn't matter if your radio and headlights still work fine.



DISCLAIMER: I'm not a professional. Use these instructions at your own risk.

First of all, you are going to get so frustrated doing this that you're going to be cussing at your car like you're talking dirty to it.

"Get in there you #&$*ing b#$%^, come on, get in there!!!!"

So, if you can, do it when your neighbors aren't home.

If you don't have all of these tools, don't even try to do it yourself. Take it to a dealership that offers a flat fee on ALL battery replacement and then laugh at them when it takes them 3 hours to do it. You'll need:

• really long, hopefully flexible (articulated) ratchet
• another ratchet
• possibly another ratchet so you don't have to change sockets constantly
• small flathead screw driver
• regular size flathead screw driver
• 10mm socket
• 11mm socket
• 13mm socket
• really short 13mm socket (about 1 inch long or less). I didn't have one that wasn't 3 inches long, so I used a worn out 1/2" socket that was only about an inch long
• 7mm socket or 7mm socket driver and a strong wrist
• work gloves
• you'll need another person to hold the wires so you can put the new battery in

Wear your mechanic gloves throughout the entire process. You'll need 'em. This is going to take you a few hours.

If you have the weird negative cable lock, you'll need to disassemble it a bit. Cussing at it doesn't work, calling a GM dealership doesn't help, and both just eat up 40 minutes of time. 10 mm socket, ratchet, regular screw driver, small screw driver. Take the nut off, the two triangle pieces, and then use the regular screw driver to spread the C thing holding the battery post a bit. Use the small screw driver to pry it off a little and then finally yank the thing off the negative post. Take the other lock pieces off and set them aside.

Remove the strut tower brace. 13mm socket, ratchet.

Flip the cover on the positive terminal open and undo the 10mm nut. Set nut aside, and take the wire off the battery post.

The electrical fuse box has to be entirely dismantled and removed. Small screw driver, 7mm socket driver or socket and ratchet, 11mm socket, maybe 10mm socket, ratchet. Pop the cover off, set aside. Undo the positive battery wire with I believe a 10mm socket...? Loosen the four 7mm bolts between the fuses (the bolts don't come out). Pop the fuse/electrical box apart using the small screw driver in I believe 3 places. Unplug the 4 electrical plugs (loosen the 7mm bolts more if they won't come out. Take the 11mm nuts off the shock tower that hold the rest of the plastic fuse box to the car, remove the plugs from it, and set the plastic aside with the plugs just dangling.

The battery tray bolts need to be undone directly next to the pulleys & etc. My 13mm was too long to fit so I had to locate a worn out 1/2" socket that was short and my longest ratchet (fortunately a flexible one with articulation) that was barely long enough, and just turn the bolts about 1/8 inch 500,000 times. This is one of the most annoying parts. Everything is so tight you can barely move and if you don't have the right tools you won't be able to finish the job!!!!!! While you may be able to ultimately get your old battery out without removing this brace, you will not, I repeat WILL NOT be able to get the new one in with the brace attached. You will need to remove the brace entirely! (Take a guess how I know this... )

Remove the battery. The best tool is cursing at it and your back IS going to hurt. You're going to have to tilt the b#(&$rd so if your battery isn't the sealed type you might want to put some duct tape over the refill holes or just be careful. It's a PITA to get it out, especially if you have the long type like was in my car.

Go buy a new battery in a different car. I got an AC Delco to replace my Duralast from a Cadillac dealership for $130. Someone on this forum in an old topic recommended Optima, but O Reilly's didn't have the one he recommended in the store, plus, on their website it was $230!!!! The nice thing about the Delco is it was smaller in length, but I think a little taller.

Spend the next 1 or 2 hours shoving the battery in. You'll need someone to hold the wires back because they will get in your way. I tried doing it alone and that's what took so long (that and thinking I could get the smaller one in without removing the brace completely).

I recommend this order of reassembly:

1. connect the positive battery cable and snap the cover on
2. put the entire electrical fuse box back together minus the cover
3. connect the negative battery cable
4. start the car and make sure it works
5. turn it off and get back to work
6. install the battery brace, do it while on your knees without looking at it to hopefully save your back from straining
7. put the fuse box cover back on, the + symbol part goes on top in case you forgot, not the bottom
8. put the strut tower brace back on
9. check for tools then shut the hood and you're done, go take a shower and go for a drive

An alternate solution is to sell the damn car and buy something else!

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Brangeta Design Group www.brangeta.com
me = '06 Grand Prix GXP, mom = '02 Camaro SS 35th Anni, sis = '95 Camaro Z28, dad = '92 Vette

All that to replace a battery, Glad I sold my GP. Nice write up!

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2009 Pontiac G8 GT- Roto-Fab Intake, Roto-Fab Radiator cover, Superchips Cortex Tune, Tinted Tail lights, Corsa Cat-Back Exhaust, Tinted side markers, Painted GXP Diffuser, Tinted Reflectors, Painted Grilles.

Wow that's insane. I just removed my battery from 2001 model last weekend for cleaning. All it took me like 5 minutes.

Another reason why 04+ suck

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I'm telling you dude... I couldn't believe how difficult this was. I was sorry I started doing the process myself when I (1) saw where the battery tray bolts were, (2) tried to pull the battery out without removing the fuse box. The thing that REALLY threw me for a loop though was the weird thing on the negative battery post. I even went to the ex-Pontiac dealership, the service writer pulled a regular GP out of their service area, and it had an extremely simple negative cable bolt completely unlike mine. I don't know why mine has this weird crap.

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Brangeta Design Group www.brangeta.com
me = '06 Grand Prix GXP, mom = '02 Camaro SS 35th Anni, sis = '95 Camaro Z28, dad = '92 Vette

Aftermarket battery posts?

Sent from my Super Evo 2D!

pics of battery posts

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Actually it's just the GXP's that are a PITA. 04+ 3800's only take a few minutes.

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2004 Pontiac Grand Prix GT2
MODS: Wizaired|Custom DHP Tune|180° Thermostat|DR F/R Brackets w/GMPP STB's|UMI Trailing Arms|Bilstein HDs w/SSC|Projector Retro|Black SPO Grilles and Spoiler|SS Inserts Rear Inlay|ZZP Volt. Booster & Alt Rewire

Thats why I just paid the dealer 200 bucks including the battory lol. They said it was only an hour install and only charged me for an hour even tho it took them almost 2 lol.

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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3882088

Gotta admit, $200 for the $130 battery plus installation is a good deal. I was told the dealership would do the install at my apartment (send someone out) for like $232 and I was like "pffffff NO" hahaha.

To be honest, I would not trust ANYONE who did not have the printed out instructions to do this. Experienced technician or not. Without instructions, I'm sure it'd be easy to break the fuse box when dismantling it. There's some instructions in the service manual if you scroll all the way to the top of this forum. You'll need to print the battery replacement instructions as well as the fuse box removal instructions. (Though, to be honest, I just basically paraphrased them (GM's illustrations aren't useful) and included the bolt sizes when I wrote this topic, so print this topic instead...).

I will take a picture of my negative battery post soon.

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Brangeta Design Group www.brangeta.com
me = '06 Grand Prix GXP, mom = '02 Camaro SS 35th Anni, sis = '95 Camaro Z28, dad = '92 Vette

It takes me 5 mins to do mine :p

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GPDIY - For All Your DIY Needs
VS CAM|3.4|HEADERS|FWI|42.5#|HPT|6000k LOWS|8000k FOGS|

That's remind me retard battery buried under washer bottle from my old car 1997 Oldsmobile Cutless Supreme. That's pain the butt to remove everything out for damn battery. It was once time job but it was still stupid. Of course we don't change battery alot.

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nice write up but if you think thats a pain...try having a dodge in which you have to remove the inner fender well to get to the damn battery

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04 GP GT1 black spo grilles/spoiler, tinted led tails/third brake light, painted reverse bar, 6k lows/fogs, gxp door rings, STB's/DR brackets, DR door locks, GMPP RTA's, Wizair

I remember reading about that on Jalopnik about 4 years ago. Dodge Intrepid wasn't it?

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Brangeta Design Group www.brangeta.com
me = '06 Grand Prix GXP, mom = '02 Camaro SS 35th Anni, sis = '95 Camaro Z28, dad = '92 Vette

^yes sir that is it and it was a motherkcufer to say the least

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04 GP GT1 black spo grilles/spoiler, tinted led tails/third brake light, painted reverse bar, 6k lows/fogs, gxp door rings, STB's/DR brackets, DR door locks, GMPP RTA's, Wizair

I did the same thing. I let the dealer do it. Costs a little more, but no headache for me. And if something goes wrong with the new battery, I don't have to deal with it.

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K&N CAI/Flips Custom Headlights, Tail Lights, Reverse Light,Brake Light/Front STB/Magnaflow Exhaust

2008 Grand Prix GXP

It's not hard at all to remove the battery on the GP or G8. The G8's connection for the battery are werid, the +- posts are on the other side of the battery. I had to stretch the wire a little for my red top when the stock battery died on me.

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Why have more money than brains? Cuz RACE CAR :

Yeah Dodges do suck for removing the battery. I had to swap a battery in my mom's dodge stratus. I figured it'd be a 15min job, lol! After popping the hood and looking around for 5 mins I finally found the battery and was then like "where the hell is it?" but yeah I had to take a front tire off, then remove the inner fender to pull the battery out. Brakes on that car were a chore too. I seriously hate working on any non GM car.

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04GTP Comp G - XS Power Headers - K&N CAI - 3.5" - Overkilled PCM - 180 - RotorPros.com Drilled Rotors /w Ceramic Pads - 15% Tint - Started on Fire and Totaled out

New Ride 08 GXP

Mine's hiding under the wiper fluid reservoir. Because, ya know, water right over an electrical source is such an amazing idea -.-

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[url=http://www.xboxlc.com/profile/austin0150]

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Here are pictures of the weird negative battery post thing I called a "lock". As well as one of just the general area you have to work in. PITA.

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Brangeta Design Group www.brangeta.com
me = '06 Grand Prix GXP, mom = '02 Camaro SS 35th Anni, sis = '95 Camaro Z28, dad = '92 Vette

I hate that lock! And i lost the damn nut for it too when I was trying to hook up my wire harness which I never ended up using cause it was too short.

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http://www.cardomain.com/ride/3882088